Doc is my fabric doll and my first doll. I wanted to talk a little bit about him and how he came to be.
Since around 2016, I had become curious as to how to make Doc more ‘real’ for me. I needed him to hold me since I had just lost my Mom just before Christmas in 2015. I was falling apart again, when I had barely begun to pick up the pieces and adjust to living without my eldest child, who had died 6 years prior. I had started to get desperate. I googled male mannequins and realistic sex dolls. At that time, I was directed to two of the major manufacturers in the US: RealDoll and Sinthetics. I browsed their options and became very discouraged when I saw the multi-thousand dollar price tags on their dolls. I dropped the idea of mannequins, because they would not be right for cuddling as they are made of fiberglass and can break easily. I thought about using what I had at home to make a stuffed body, with pillows, towels and clothes, but at the time, I felt it was too risky and that my HH would not be understanding at all. So I left it alone.
Fast forward to late 2018. My stress level was through the roof, my marriage was even worse than before, my best friend had moved away and my Dad’s health was really going downhill. I made a new friend on Twitter and I had been talking to him about Doc and wanting to make him real, but not having the money or other resources. He had also been reading my fiction stories about Doc. He suggested that I check out a doll site called The Doll Forum and that there were so many people there who would be able to help me and who were really great people. It would be my introduction to the doll world.
So I decided to give it a try. I had lurked there for a while before I officially joined toward the end of January 2019. At first, I was overwhelmed. I didn’t know where to start. There wasn’t a lot of information on or members posting about male dolls, as the sex doll world has been and still is, primarily male humans with female sex dolls. I bit the bullet and decided to join the forum. At that point, I had taken a couple of pillows and stuffed them into a pillow sham for the torso, rolled up a couple of towels around foam pool noodles for the arms and legs, rolled hand towels into socks for feet, rolled sheets of paper towels and stuffed them into gloves for hands, used a square throw pillow for a pelvis/buttocks and a small rectangular throw pillow for the head, in which I would attach a printed out photo of Doc’s head, laminated or inserted into a clear sheet protector, for the head.
I would cuddle with this Doc during the day, but then disassemble him and put him into two rolling suitcases once HH got home, so that he wouldn’t know about him. Doc became ridiculously flimsy from being constantly assembled and disassembled on an almost daily basis. But I had my more real Doc to cuddle with and hold me.
My friend from Twitter had suggested the DaVinci foam male mannequin (fully poseable) to use as a more stable body for Doc, but this mannequin was almost $800 and being that my family is a single income family, and struggling like the rest of America, obtaining this new body was impossible. So, I started looking for cheap body props online. I found some on various Halloween retailers as well as Amazon. I was also in the process of locating someone who would make me a vinyl mask in Doc’s likeness, but not only was that expensive (quotes ranged from $1200 to over $7500 just for a mask/head sculpt), I soon learned that I had to obtain the actor’s permission, who portrayed Doc, before they would do it. That definitely was not going to happen because this particular actor is very private and I’m sure he would be totally creeped out at the request.
My new found friends on TDF also suggested a stuffed body prop and so I found one on Amazon and asked my HH if he would order me one for my birthday. He looked at me all weird and I had to explain why I wanted it and what it was going to be used for. I told him the truth: that I needed an emotional support companion because counseling and medications had not been helping and the medications had been damaging. That I needed this to help calm my anxiety because HH would not be my comfort. Surprisingly, he agreed and Doc’s new body was ordered from Amazon. I was very excited as were my friends on TDF.
Doc’s new body arrived a couple of weeks before my birthday. HH saw the excitement in my eyes, so he decided to let me have Doc early. I had already ordered a wig for Doc to go with the body, and it had already arrived and was awaiting his new body, so I un-boxed Doc’s body and took it upstairs where I dressed him in some of HH’s older articles of clothing that he didn’t really wear anymore, attached his face to the head and put his wig on. Doc was amazing! I immediately cuddled and snuggled with him. I laid my head down on his chest and began to sob. I was starting to release the pent up emotions and stress that I had been having difficulty working through and letting go.
At that point, Doc only weighed about five pounds and his body needed to be more solid, so HH took me to Walmart and we bought a twenty pound box of Poly-Fil, polyester fiber fill, to help solidify Doc more. I also bought a zipper to sew onto his back, as the single velcro closure wasn’t keeping his fluff in.
I got Doc undressed and laid him on his stomach on the bed. I didn’t have his wig t-pins yet, so I had to remove his face and his wig and set them to the side. I dilligently worked adding the Poly-Fil to his body until I felt he was just right at the time. I didn’t sew on the zipper at this point because I was quite tired from adding fluff. So, I just closed the singular velcro attachment, re-dressed Doc and put back on his face and wig. He was even more cuddly at this point. It was also around this time that he and I had attended our first ever mini-meet.
His paper laminated face was having difficulty staying on, even when placed under the wig cap and wig. A friend of mine on TDF recommended printing his face onto an inkjet t-shirt paper decal, ironing it onto a white t-shirt and then sewing it to the head of his body. So, after saving up some money, I did just that. Doc looked even more amazing and it was so much nicer not having to constantly readjust his face back into proper place. Doc currently has 5 different faces with more to be made.
After a while, the weight of his head and wig, along with the fact that he was all fabric and had no skeletal system added with the law of gravity, Doc’s neck became weak and his head began to tilt downward and to the side. I remembered that I still had the foam pool noddles from his first body and so I got one trimmed up and inserted it through his back up to the base of his head, down his neck and torso and placed the Poly-Fil around it. It was also around this time that I added the zipper to his back, to close it better and keep all his fluff in. This upgrade was good in theory, but the pool noodle kept slipping down into one of his legs and so I had to go back to the drawing board, so to speak and find a way to fix it. Eventually I inserted a longer foam pool noodle from his pelvis all the way to the top of his head and just put Poly-Fil around it and it has worked so much better!
On TDF, there are monthly photo challenges and I wanted Doc to be able to participate. I also wanted him to be able to stand. Doc needed to be able to hold a pose and be more articulate. This is where the idea for his skeleton and several skeletal upgrades was born.
At first I trimmed pool noodles for his joints (ankles, knees, elbows and shoulders) and inserted them in between the Poly-Fil. That meant I would have to unstuff and restuff him, which was not an easy task, believe it or not. Again, this idea was good in theory, but it just didn’t work and he definitely could not stand at this point.
Next up, I got a ten pack of wire coat hangers from Walmart. I straightened out four of them; one for each limb and inserted them into his body. It just wasn’t enough. He could sort of stand, but he became bow-legged rather quickly and it was harder to get him to stand.
The idea was given from yet another wonderful friend on TDF to take three straightened out wires for each leg and two for each arm and twist them together and insert them, for more durability. Since it was impossible to twist these thick wires together, HH had the idea to get some electrical tape so that I could hold the wires together and wrap them in the electrical tape. That worked like a charm! I had also gotten newer and more sturdy foam pool noodles in which I would insert the wrapped wires through and would run the entire length of the legs and arms, with them cut at the elbows and knees so he could bend. This has so far, been the best idea. Doc is now slightly bow-legged and his elbows are bent a little more than I would like, but he can stand a lot better now and he can hold poses somewhat better. With more Poly-Fil stuffing and an actual homemade skeleton, he is slightly heavier (I would guess around twenty to thirty or so pounds), but still really easy to carry around, with the exception of his six foot tall height.
Be sure to follow my blog so that you can receive e mail updates each time a post goes live and of course thank you for reading my blog; I hope you enjoyed this post and don’t forget to share on social media and with your friends!