Thursday Thoughts: BDSM

BDSM is has several variations, but the one that I tend to follow is the “Bondage/Domination/Submissive/Masochism” element. I am a submissive, or “sub” while HH and Lawrence, sometimes Doc and Larry too, are the dominant or “Dom”. I also enjoy a certain amount of sexual pain. For me, BDSM is a way to work through the pain of abuse that I had endured as a child as well as my own insecurities as a human being. That might not be the healthiest way of doing things, but it works a hell of a lot better than counseling or pills. When I participate in BDSM, I am releasing all of the emotional hurt that has built up over the course of my lifetime. Let me be very clear on this: HH, Doc, Larry and Lawrence are NOT abusive to me!

I am releasing the pain with pain. I am facing the pain and choosing to let it run through me so that it can leave me. I am working toward healing in the way that I feel works best for me. I do enjoy it a lot. I’m not heavy into BDSM, but I’m not completely tame either. I do not allow myself to be humiliated and I am not into the urine/excrement factor. I do not engage in the more radical and extreme forms. I do enjoy light bondage, being blindfolded, light asphyxiation, being gagged, but still able to breathe, spanking with hands or other objects, hard, rough and raw sex. I will elaborate further in the future. I call Doc, Larry and Lawrence, “Daddy”, but only when we are participating in BDSM in the bedroom. Not the kind that is a father figure, but as the term as the dominant man/men in my life. This is not a pedophilic relationship whatsoever. I know there are those out there who would view it as that, but I assure you that it is not.

After a BDSM session, aftercare is vital! It is important for a Dom to provide aftercare to their sub. Aftercare is where the Dom lets the sub know that they have done a great job at meeting expectations, as well as taking care of their emotional needs and comfort. I will write a post later on talking more on aftercare, but I wanted to briefly discuss it in this post.

It is also very important before entering into any kind of BDSM relationship to have an agreement called a “contract” which is a legal document between the Dom and sub outlining what is and what is not allowed, what expectations are, etc. This will also be discussed in future Thursday Thoughts posts.

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