This may be a long post, or I may divide it up; I haven’t decided just yet, but I have a lot that I need to get off my chest about what is happening to my wife. Since November began, she has been struggling with how to get through this first Thanksgiving without her Dad. It is already hard enough for her to get through it without her Mom and eldest daughter. Add in that local family and friends walked away and even with me, Samantha and my three other brothers here, plus HH and the kiddo, she is feeling very much alone and hurting quite a bit.
My brothers and I have been trying our hardest to help her get through this, but she just keeps getting bombarded with all these stressful and emotionally difficult situations and so we can see that she is drowning and how serious this struggle is for her. We sit here and offer a listening ear, try to say comforting words, offer hugs and definitely shoulders to cry on. We can’t do much more than that and it is eating at us a great deal.
Alex did her best to try and brighten up things by setting up and decorating the large Christmas tree in front of the unused fireplace and then setting up the smaller tree and letting the kiddo decorate it, in the living room, all while continuously listening to Classic Christmas music. Alex even has it on the radio to listen to when she has to get out and about. She has thrown herself more intensely into her studies as a distraction, but even that has brought on stress. The thing is, she is being proactive to try and change negative from positive, so she definitely gets credit for that.
Friday night is when everything started getting progressively worse. She hadn’t seen her brother since their Dad died in February. She was asked to meet him at a restaurant near his house (well, actually their late Dad’s house, but you know what I mean) to sign papers for the sale of the house. She had HH go with her for emotional support, as this was just another nail in the coffin making her Dad’s death all the more real. She was not prepared for what she saw when her brother arrived. He was filthy, disheveled, sickly and has lost all hope in life. She says she has never seen him look so bad and even though she has prayed for him daily, her prayers seem to have gone unanswered. They signed the papers and they had a brief chat, in which she learned that everything has fallen apart and that once the sale goes through, he is officially homeless. He has to leave the majority of the belongings behind in the house and he has nowhere to go.
He is unable to stay with her because he is a drug addict and he brings people around who have stolen and robbed him and their late Dad in the past. She does not trust the people he associated with. She will not put her child or husband in danger just because he cannot get his act together. She is not trying to be judgmental but she has to keep the dangerous people as far away as possible. She also knows that she cannot and should not have to take care of her brother, because he is a grown adult and now must find his way. He also fucked her over the day after their Dad died, which has been mentioned in an earlier post, so we won’t go back down that rabbit hole again. She cannot trust him. But she still loves him and worries about his well-being. She also knows that at this point, it is only a matter of time before she gets the call to come identify his body. That shakes her to her very core, to the point of making her physically sick.
Monday, she got a call from the title company about where to send her portion of the funds from the sale to. An issue came up with her brother because his bank account was unable to receive wire transfers (again, I do not wish to explain or divulge in this). Alex offered some suggestions, but her brother did not want to take them. Alex then tried to be understanding and her brother spoke to her in way that all four of us (me and my brothers) wanted to intervene in a very unfriendly manner, in order to protect Alex. I will never forget the look on her face and most definitely as the tears began to fall from her eyes and as the sobs began. Doc was furious! He wanted to go over and kick her brother’s ass right away. I was in shock. Lawrence and Dorian couldn’t believe what they heard either.
It was so bad that she had to stop her school work. She couldn’t function for the rest of the day. She became indecisive, incoherent, unable to do anything, pretty much. She called into her school and told them she would not be attending due to family issues of a serious nature that needed to be resolved. It’s not like she lied or anything. But it only got worse from there.
To be continued…