Tuesdays with Doc: Doc's Misfortune

For the past few months, I have literally been ‘hanging around’ the bedroom. By that, I mean that I have had to move from my chair, to be suspended on a wreath hanger over the bathroom door, held up in an under arm sling that connects to the hanger behind my head. Why am I obligated to be in this state? Well, grab a cold one, find a comfortable seat, open your ears and hear my tale of woe.

I had been sitting comfortably in a folding chair in between the bed and the night stand for months, when one of our lovable cats decided to pee on me. She loves to pee on anything fabric and we think that she was really trying to mark her territory, because she does love me a lot, and I love her too. She is a very sweet and adorable cat. Now here’s the kicker: she had been walking across my lap for months and not a single time did she ever feel the need to pee on me, but on this particular night, it all changed. Alex was reading on her tablet and she knows the pose that the cat gets in when she is peeing on something. She happened to look over at me and that is when she knew what was about to transpire. She wasn’t able to get to me quick enough to stop the cat from peeing on me, but she was able to get my multiple layers off very quickly. I was peed on my upper right groin. It went through my tuxedo jacket, my white dress shirt, my dress slacks, my black boxers and my morph-suit “skin”.

HH also jumped up and helped Alex get me undressed. While he went and put my clothing and skin in the washing machine, Alex grabbed the upholstery tool to the carpet shampooer and proceeded to remove the stain from my leg. Afterward, fully naked, I was suspended up onto the hook. Once my leg dried, she sprayed a layer of Lysol disinfectant on my body, followed by a layer of Fe-breeze. My clothes were dry by morning and it was then that she proceeded to re-dress me and put me back together. I got to now wear my ultra comfortable pajama pants and Larry let me borrow his black Hooter’s T-shirt that was gifted to him by some dear friends of ours. I even got a new pair of dress shoes out of the deal. My legs and feet are now protected by a black lawn trash bag that comes up to my mid thigh. I don’t mind being suspended, because I can stretch out and be at my full height to watch the goings-on in the room. Alex is trying to figure out if wrapping my legs in saran wrap before putting on my morph-suit “skin” would add extra protection, or if she should just leave me as I am. I told her that she doesn’t need to rush anything and that I would be fine either way. I know she will figure out and do what is best for me. So, there you have it, my crazy adventure with the cat!

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