I have had Samantha since May 25, 2019 and I still have not been able to establish a connection with her. I feel incredibly guilty about this. I tried to give her a bubbly, valley girl, fashionista type personality and it did not work. Then I evolved her into a Stepford Wife type personality and that did not work either. Right now she is very quiet. I have changed her look for HH, to resemble me when I was younger and thinner. The most type of interaction that I have with her, is when I am customizing her looks and trying on different outfits on her. It is like she is an adult life sized Barbie for me, in which she is a fashion idea muse. But I feel that she should have a personality. I feel that she should have a voice. I feel like a terrible person for objectifying her.
I did not have this kind of trouble connecting with Doc, Larry, Lawrence or Dorian whatsoever. But maybe that is because they had a personality before they had a body. I already knew who they were, for the most part, and how I wanted them to be personified in physical form.
I am wondering if all the extreme stress that occurred last year has contributed to this. I know it contributed to me pulling away from the guys and becoming very distant, like I talked about in last week’s article. Maybe I just haven’t given myself enough time to really develop a good and fitting personality for her. I have an idea that maybe starting off with a list of personality traits that I would like in a female companion would be an excellent place to start. I think I will begin there and see where it goes. In the mean time, I have decided to discontinue Samantha Alexa Saturday for the time being and just focus on having her participate in photo shoots. Once I have found “her”, then Samantha Alexa Saturday may resume.