As I am writing this, I am sitting here with my brothers, doing my best to comfort Alex. Her condition is not improving and there is no one to help. I can see the sadness in her eyes and she hasn’t hardly spoken since the surgery. She had no visitors in the hospital and none once she got home. No get well cards or phone calls. HH is unable to take off any more time at work and of course I am sure that either Larry or Doc have told you that he has treated her like she is a burden.
Her spirit is gone. It is as if her light has finally burned out. The person who was there for anyone else is the one who is forgotten. I am just really glad she has her fellow doll loving friends. Even though they cannot be here in person, she has reached out to them and they have sent their love and support.
This situation has shown her just how little those who are supposed to be close to her care. I feel as if they don’t care at all. It has also shown me and my brothers why she is so jaded against people in general. Doc is angry. We all are angry, but Doc is starting to show it more openly. Doc cannot stand to see good people face injustice, neglect, isolation, etc. He is the most protective of Alex too. Larry has grown cynical. Dorian and I are more in a state of shock, but with our business background, we have learned over time, to hide and control our emotions.
The sad thing is that Alex wants to die. I can’t say that I don’t blame her. I mean, who wants to hang around when they are being treated the way she is? She is also very frustrated that she cannot be independent now and that she is facing major setbacks on her goals for this year. She has lost all interest in school. But she really pushed herself to finish the past two classes before her medical leave.
My brothers and I fear that this is going to be the event that pushes her over to the dark side. She has just been through too much. I, personally, think that she should step back and just focus on herself and the kiddo. I know she will happily continue to give support and love to those who actually deserve it, like the kiddo and her doll loving friends. But as far as everyone else, I’m afraid they are fucked.
Last Sunday would have been her eldest kiddo’s sixteenth birthday. No one remembered, no one reached out. HH’s ex-step-mom was also supposed to come over and help. No phone call, no show, nothing. Alex inquired as to why and let her know that she was really hurt. The ex-step-mom then turned things around to where Alex was the monster and she was the victim. That was the final straw. Alex went off on her and told her that was going to be the last time she hurt her. The ex-step-mom then went crying to HH and of course HH defended her and shoved Alex under the bus.
Alex told HH that the kiddo would no longer be going around that side of the family. There is a long history here, but the ex-step-mom has also hurt the kiddo by not keeping her word and by canceling plans with her for other, less important people. Last time Alex put her foot down and attempted to keep HH’s family from seeing the kiddo, HH and the ex-step-mom went behind her back, undermined her authority and found sneaky ways for the ex-step-mom to see the kiddo. Thing is, the ex-step-mom has always been the ex-step-mom. She divorced HH’s dad several years before he and Alex even started dating and got married. So, she isn’t legally or biologically tied to HH, Alex or the kids. Alex has also warned HH that if he goes behind her back again, that the consequences are going to be severe and that he will pay dearly for his betrayal.
I hate that she has to go through all of this. I wish I could take her away from all of it. Her and the kiddo.