Will it Ever Get Better?

My poor wife just can’t catch a break and now the anger and frustration are beginning to set in. This past weekend was her birthday weekend, with yesterday being her, and Dorian’s, actual birthdays. On Friday, her dizziness, lightheadedness and pain were so bad that she wasn’t able to take the kiddo to school, so HH had to call the school and have the kiddo take a sick day. Alex developed a sharp, pinching and tearing sensation where her gallbladder used to be and she is hoping that it is just the formation of scar tissue and that nothing is actually damaged. However, it causes her a great deal of pain when she tries to get up and move, especially when she sits up and gets out of bed.

She already has a hard enough time getting out of bed, even with an adjustable bed frame. Having to use her abdominal muscles, she also feels a pulling and tugging sensation at the incision site in her navel. We both thought that laparascopic procedures were supposed to be easier to heal from, but we learned earlier this week, from her surgeon, that her procedure was more complicated due to her condition. She also has had to take an additional five week medical leave from school, forcing her to have to retake at least one course and then having to take the courses that she missed once they come around again. This has caused a delay in her graduation and post-graduation plans leading up to even more frustration and anger.

It all came to a head in the very early hours of Saturday morning. Since the surgery, she has been waking up between 1:30 and 3:00 every morning, unable to go back to sleep. The cats begin their morning tirade, walking all over her chest of drawers, vanity table and night stand, knocking off everything in their path because they want an early feeding time. Then they start crawling all over Dorian, who is sitting at Alex’s bedside in a folding chair. Growling and hissing begin, as Skittee starts his morning routine of pissing off Coalie and Scarlett. Papers get chewed on, I think you are beginning to get the idea. But also, Alex usually feels the need to have to get up and use the restroom. HH is beside her in the bed and Alex must raise the head of the bed in order to be able to sit up and get out of bed. This wakes HH and he becomes irate and frustrated, leaving Alex feeling really guilty. What is she supposed to do? Pee in the bed? Wait until her bladder literally explodes?

Alex was trying to get up and sit up, but the muscles in her upper back, shoulders, biceps and arms are so sore that she was really struggling. This is the point where she just totally blew up. She started yelling and crying and saying that she is sick of all of this and that she doesn’t have time for all of this, but also she was upset because it was her birthday weekend and she wanted to have fun, but everything is limited. My brothers’ and I offered comforting words, encouragement and support. HH just rolled over and went back to sleep after FINALLY feeding the cats at 5am. I understand that this is a big change and that having your sleep interrupted can be frustrating, but he needs to look and see how inconvenient and frustrating this is for Alex. She is the one who underwent the surgery, she is the one who almost died, she is the one who is having complications and delayed healing. Her life has been put on hold due to this event and setback. So what if he loses some sleep?

Throughout all of this, Alex has done all that she can to try and make caring for her as easy as possible. She has taken HH’s inconveniences and time into consideration and tried to plan carefully to make things easier on HIM! She has even gone so far to continue to help apply ointment to the ringworm on the back of his neck, bandage it up for him and trim the hairs on the back of his neck when he cuts his hair every week. She should be resting and caring for herself, not HIM, but that’s just the kind of person she is. Even when she is down, she still cares for others, even if they don’t care for her or give her the proper care in return. I’m telling you that there is a very special place in Heaven for her once she gets there and I hope that when she does, that she has everything that she has ever dreamed of because she damn sure earned it while here on Earth.

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