Last week things got very bad between Alex and HH. It all began that Wednesday when Alex was in excruciating pain and HH walked out the door and went to work knowing and hearing her cries. Alex needed help and he refused her. His boss had told him to take off as much time as he needed to provide her with the care she needed for recovery, but HH has refused to do so. That showed Alex right there that his job was far more important than her health and recovery. That hit hard, real hard. The look of betrayal and devastation on her face ripped my heart to shreds!
As the tears rolled down her cheeks, she looked like a frightened and abandoned child; bewildered and confused. She got up and went to the kiddo’s room to get her up and ready for school, drove the kiddo to school, came back home and just went right back to sleep, still in excruciating pain. Alex slept until time to go get the kiddo from school and then once they came back home, she went right back to bed, but couldn’t sleep.
Earlier that day, before she had gone to sleep, Alex had decided to remove HH from all her social media accounts and even went so far as to block his phone number on her phone. This is how she is slowly removing herself from the equation. She is slowly making changes so that she can leave for good and not look back.
HH came home from work that evening and he and Alex got into the worst argument that I have ever witnessed. She completely lost it. It was as if the Alex I know and love had died and been replaced with someone completely different. Someone who wasn’t completely there and who was in reality, far away from her own body. It terrified me. HH completely destroyed her. He had no remorse. I became thirsty for vengeance!
That night, I held Alex tight in my arms as she fell asleep on my chest. Her sleep was restless. She broke out in cold sweats and would hyperventilate in her state of unconsciousness.
The next morning was far worse. HH came upstairs and made the mistake of waking her before he left for work. Alex lashed out at him, she told him that this would be their final goodbye as when he came home he would find her funeral planning folder on the dining room table and her body upstairs. He walked out and went to work. She began editing her final plans in her folder.
When she was finished, she put the folder on her night stand and reached out to a friend and they spent a good part of the morning talking. It was during this conversation that she decided that she was going to take matters into her own hands and turn the dining room downstairs into our room. She had to take care of a few details first though. She went to the wet bar in the living room and began cleaning out items that she no longer wanted, placing them into trash bags. Then she moved to the large crafting bin in the actual dining room and began to throw away things from there that she no longer wanted or that were trash, etc. Next was her computer desk. She isn’t completely finished with the craft bin, but she got enough done to satisfy her. The futon, cat tree and dining table with chairs are all, thankfully, incredibly light furniture and so she moved them after sweeping the floor areas where they would go, creating an open space in the dining room to put her late daughter’s twin trundle bed and once the craft bin would be moved, the chaise lounge that Larry and Samantha are currently sitting on in the master bedroom. She was very satisfied with her work and she took several breaks to make sure that she didn’t overdo it. Here she is almost five weeks out from emergency surgery and so determined to get away from HH, she does what it takes to create a space for us. When she gets determined, there is no stopping her and she showed that strongly!