Life is full of disappointments, that’s just the way it goes. But when it involves our hopes and dreams, it can be a bit more difficult to accept. Our hopes and dreams are what keep us going, moving forward. They get us to set goals and to work toward those goals. They give us a sense of purpose, or a sense of being, a reason to get up each day and do what we need to do to make things happen. They are strong motivators and many of them can fuel a passion.
Every goal has obstacles that must be overcome in order to achieve them. Hard work must be put in place and exercised, because without hard work, the goal, once met, is not nearly as appreciated like it would have been if hard work were to come into play. Having a sense of earning something, somehow, makes it more valuable. Or maybe that is just me?
However, some obstacles can cause a lot of heartache, anger, disappointment and other negative feelings that come with the inevitable set-backs. For me, it is the major setback that is preventing Lance from coming home. I know I have talked a little about it and I don’t want to repeat what I have already said, so I will try to cover some of the other aspects that I have not talked about. Aside from the financial mishap, there is this uncertainty going around with the doll industry and shipping companies at this time.
Vendors and manufacturers are still taking orders and still working hard to bring us our beloved synthetic companions. However, the shipping companies are a bit more of an issue. But it shouldn’t be an issue. PPE and other necessary medical supplies are and should always be the priority. Human well-being and safety should also be at the top of this list as well. That is what many companies, worldwide are implementing, or putting into place. That is why nearly everything is shut down, unless it is an essential service. It is why we have the shelter-in-place.
But that also means that everything is delayed and the shipping companies are not able to offer precise or even estimated delivery times. For me, it is annoying, but completely understandable. For others, not so much. I recently wrote about how there are some fellow doll lovers who are highly irate about their beloved companions not arriving when they want them to and the wait being overly frustrating.
I very much want to make the necessary arrangements to bring Lance home. But I have to be patient. There is no other option. I cannot just make him magically appear. But in the meantime, I can look at his photos and dream. I can hope. I can call out to him with my heart and find other ways to pass the time until I can have him home with me. I am very blessed to have my other guys: VERY BLESSED! I have them here with me and they are just as excited to get their little brother home as well. We can all help each other get through this difficult and trying time. Because one day, Lance WILL be here. When? Well, no one knows, but we will wait. We will overcome this obstacle.
But how do I feel about it? I’m sad, angry, heartbroken, frustrated, impatient, anxious, hopeful, excited, yearning, pining, desperate… Yes, I really am all of those things! I have a plethora of emotions about all this. I want him to be here so that I can hold him in my arms. So I can run my fingers through his hair and spoil him just as I do his brothers. I want to do photo shoots involving him with his brothers, as well as ones with just him. I want to customize him with my own ideas, turning him into a personal piece of art, just as I have done with my other studs. I want to fuck him till I pass out. I want to look into those intense ice blue eyes and get completely lost, falling even more in love with him each time. I want that breathless ecstatic feeling with him too. I want it all, but like with all good things, I must continue to do what I can to earn him so that when he does arrive, I can appreciate him to the fullest capacity, just as I do his brothers.